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SHIMINHello. My name is SHIMIN.:D! Give me presents! On 10JUNE :D I study in NYJC, haha.:D I love everyone!:D And I'M CRAZY!?!? :D
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Profile
SHIMINHello. My name is SHIMIN.:D! Give me presents! On 10JUNE :D I study in NYJC, haha.:D I love everyone!:D And I'M CRAZY!?!? :D
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Music |
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Saturday, December 12
I jus wonder how weird I am. how fast my mood can change. how strangely I can react- never the way I thought I will. Had a chat with shifu today. Afterall, did i change over the past 2 yrs? or am i still stuck at where I was 2 yrs back. We had a long long chat. Abt the past, abt the present, abt me and Q. Good or Bad. I actually bumped into Q at pt today. To to exact, only I saw him. Do you have tt feeling of wanting to see someone, but yet am afraid to. Guess what, I actually shivered when I realise he was just next to me. The only thing I had in mind, was to rush to the nearest shop before he notices me. But then again, you know the kind of disappointment you felt when he actually din notice you were right there. irony i know. always been so. Its always me looking over, since when its the other way round. Sometimes, I doubt my own feeling. How is tt possible. Its a whole 2 yrs my dear. How is it possible with only occasionally chat online? nt even dinner or whatever so. How is tt possible. But then I know, Its just different. the kind of attention, the kind of feeling I had. At times, I dun really feel that im very far away from you. Others, I think you are too far away to reach. Im amazed sometimes. shimin- hanging on for whole 2 yrs. single for whole 2 yrs. Im just aint the same I guess. maybe it will be 3, 4, 5 yrs? I bet Q arent feeling the same way I felt for the past 2 yrs. ------------------------------------------------------------- 2 yrs ago, I requested for this friendship between us. Thinking tt, I dun wanna jus be stranger with you. Its heartbreaking, but I tot its better this way. Maybe things will work out the way me and A am now. 2 yrs later, We are friends. ( I supposed?) but still, I wasnt really feeling happy abt tt. I realised, I was the one with problem. I was the one who cant merely see you as a normal friend. Something is still very wrong...and i think its me. stupid i know, very. For the past 2 yrs, I kept thinking abt this every now and then. I dun wanna to look back nex year and said: " It had been 3 yrs" Today, I sort of came to a conclusion. A decision which I think I ought to make ages ago. on the not so bright side, if things were to turn out bad, I think tt will be the last time we speak to each other. you may not wanna to talk to me again, I may not be able to face you again. Sometimes I wonder, If tt were to happen. Is it worth the risk? now, yes. because, I think I've left too much regret. If the worst had to take place, Lets hope that yrs later, We can meet up for coffee or what. like what friends so:)) anyway, 17 yrs old shimin. aint the small girl 2 yrs back. When im 18, just like Q, would like my life to be different too. with you, or without. Saturday, December 12, 2009
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